2 Samuel 14

1 Joab, son of Zeruiah, knew that the king kept on thinking about Absalom.

Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king's heart [was] towards Absalom.

2 So Joab sent a messenger to Tekoa to bring back a wise woman who lived there. He told her, “Pretend to be a mourner. Put on clothes for mourning, and don't use any scented oils. Be like a woman who has been in mourning for the dead a long time.

And Joab sent to Tekoah, and brought thence a wise woman, and said to her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead:

3 Then go to the king and tell him this.” Joab told her what to say.

And come to the king, and speak in this manner to him. So Joab put the words in her mouth.

4 When the woman from Tekoa went to see the king, she bowed facedown to the ground in respect, and said, “Please help me, Your Majesty!”

And when the woman of Tekoah spoke to the king, she fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help, O king.

5 “What's the matter?” the king asked her. “Sadly I'm a widow. My husband is dead,” she replied.

And the king said to her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I [am] indeed a widow woman, and my husband is dead.

6 “Your Majesty, I had two sons. They had a fight outside, and there was nobody there to stop them. One of them hit the other, and killed him.

And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and [there was] none to part them, but the one smote the other and slew him.

7 Now the whole family is against me. They're saying, ‘Hand over your son who killed his brother so we can put him to death for murdering his brother. That way he won't inherit anything either!’ By doing this they would snuff out the last ember of hope I have to carry on my husband's name and family in the world.”

And behold, the whole family hath risen against thy handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they will quench my coal which is left, and will not leave to my husband [neither] name nor remainder upon the earth.

8 “Go on home,” the king told the woman, “and I myself will make sure your case is dealt with for you.”

And the king said to the woman, Go to thy house, and I will give charge concerning thee.

9 “Thank you, Your Majesty,” said the woman. “I and my family will take the blame, and may Your Majesty and your family be held to be innocent.”

And the woman of Tekoah said to the king, My lord, O king, the iniquity [be] on me, and on my father's house: and the king and his throne [be] guiltless.

10 “If anyone complains to you about it, bring him here to me, and he won't bother you again!” the king told her.

And the king said, Whoever saith [aught] to thee, bring him to me, and he shall not touch thee any more.

11 “Please, Your Majesty,” the woman continued, “swear by the Lord your God that you will stop the person wanting to avenge the murder from making it worse by killing my son!” “As the Lord lives,” he promised, “not a single hair from your son's head will fall to the ground.”

Then said she, I pray thee, let the king remember the LORD thy God, that thou wouldest not suffer the revengers of blood to destroy any more, lest they destroy my son. And he said, [As] the LORD liveth, there shall not one hair of thy son fall to the earth.

12 “Could I please ask for one other thing, Your Majesty?” the woman asked. “Go ahead,” he replied.

Then the woman said, Let thy handmaid, I pray thee, speak [one] word to my lord the king. And he said, Say on.

13 “So why have you schemed in a similar way against the people of God?” the woman asked. “Since Your Majesty just decided my case by what you said, haven't you convicted yourself because you refuse to bring back the son you banished?

And the woman said, Why then hast thou thought such a thing against the people of God? for the king doth speak this thing as one who is faulty, in that the king doth not bring home again his banished.

14 Yes, we all have to die. We're like water spilled on the ground that can't be collected again. But that's not what God does. Instead he works out ways for anyone who is banished to come back home to him.

For we must needs die, and [are] as water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect [any] person: yet doth he devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him.

15 That's why I've come to explain this to Your Majesty, because someone has frightened me. So I thought to myself, I will go and speak to the king. Perhaps he will grant my request.

Now therefore that I have come to speak of this thing to my lord the king, [it is] because the people have made me afraid: and thy handmaid said, I will now speak to the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his handmaid.

16 Perhaps the king will listen and save me from the man who would cut off both me and my son from God's chosen people.

For the king will hear, to deliver his handmaid from the hand of the man [that would] destroy me and my son together out of the inheritance of God.

17 I thought: May what Your Majesty says bring me peace, for Your Majesty is able to tell the difference between good and evil, just like an angel of God. May the Lord your God be with you!”

Then thy handmaid said, The word of my lord the king, will now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so [is] my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the LORD thy God will be with thee.

18 “Please don't refuse to answer the question I'm about to ask,” the king said to the woman. “Please ask your question, Your Majesty,” she replied.

Then the king answered and said to the woman, Hide not from me, I pray thee, the thing that I shall ask thee. And the woman said, Let my lord the king now speak.

19 “Is all this Joab's doing?” the king asked. The woman replied, “As you live, Your Majesty, no one can hide anything from you. Yes, it was Joab, your officer, who ordered me to do this—he told me exactly what to say.

And the king said, [Is not] the hand of Joab with thee in all this? And the woman answered and said, [As] thy soul liveth, my lord the king, none can turn to the right hand or to the left from aught that my lord the king hath spoken: for thy servant Joab, he bade me, and he put all these words in the mouth of thy handmaid:

20 He did so to show the other side of the situation, but Your Majesty is as wise as an angel of God, and you know everything that happens in this country.”

To bring about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord [is] wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all [things] that [are] on the earth.

21 The king said to Joab, “Fine, I'll do it. Go and bring young Absalom back.”

And the king said to Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again.

22 Joab bowed down with his face to the ground in respect, and blessed the king. “Today,” said Joab, “I, your servant, know that you approve of me, Your Majesty, because you have granted my request.”

And Joab fell to the ground on his face, and bowed himself, and thanked the king: and Joab said, To-day thy servant knoweth that I have found grace in thy sight, my lord, O king, in that the king hath fulfilled the request of his servant.

23 Joab went to Geshur, and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem.

So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.

24 But the king gave this order, “He may return to his home, but he's not to come and see me.” So Absalom returned to his own home, but he didn't go and see the king.

And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king's face.

25 Absalom was admired as the most handsome man in the whole of Israel. He didn't have a single blemish from head to toe.

But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.

26 He cut his hair every year because it got so heavy—it weighed two hundred royal shekels.

And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year's end that he polled [it]: because [the hair] was heavy on him, therefore he polled it: ) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king's weight.

27 He had three sons, and a daughter named Tamar—a very beautiful woman.

And to Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name [was] Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.

28 Absalom lived in Jerusalem for two years but was not permitted to see the king.

So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king's face.

29 Absalom called Joab to arrange for him to see the king, for Joab, to send him to the king, but Joab refused to come. Absalom called Joab again, but Joab still wouldn't come.

Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, that he might send him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come.

30 So Absalom told his servants, “Look, Joab's field is next to mine, and he has barley growing there. Go and set it on fire!” Absalom's servants went and set the field on fire.

Therefore he said to his servants, See, Joab's field is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and set it on fire. And Absalom's servants set the field on fire.

31 Joab went to Absalom's house and asked “Why did your servants set my field on fire?”

Then Joab arose, and came to Absalom, to [his] house, and said to him, Why have thy servants set my field on fire?

32 “Look here,” said Absalom, “I sent for you, saying, ‘Come here. I want you to go to the king and ask: Why did I bother coming back from Geshur? It would have been better for me to stay there.’ So go and arrange for me to see the king, and if I'm guilty of anything, he can kill me.”

And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent to thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Why am I come from Geshur? it [had been] good for me [had I been] there still: now therefore let me see the king's face; and if there is [any] iniquity in me, let him kill me.

33 So Joab went and told the king what Absalom had said. Then David summoned Absalom, who came and bowed down with his face to the ground before him in respect. Then the king kissed Absalom.

So Joab came to the king, and told him: and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom.